In a small town with a population of 500, a woman finds herself at the center of a perplexing family dispute. The woman claims that her family forgot to invite her to her grandparents’ funeral, but what’s even more baffling is that they insist she was present at the ceremony. This case of forgotten invitations and conflicting memories has sparked a wave of speculation on social media platforms like Reddit. As armchair detectives and psychologists analyze the situation, let’s delve into the details surrounding this peculiar family drama and explore the theories proposed by Redditors.
The Perfect Little Group: A Close-Knit Family
The woman, in her 30s, moved away from her hometown after college and settled in a city. Despite the distance, she maintained regular contact with her family, visiting them every few weeks and staying in touch through calls and texts. Her family, consisting of her brother, mother, stepfather, father, stepmother, and an aunt and uncle, had always been drama-free and celebrated holidays and special occasions together. However, the topic of her returning to her hometown frequently arose, with her family urging her to come back.
The Passing of Beloved Grandparents
Tragedy struck the family during the pandemic when both of the woman’s grandparents passed away. Due to the pandemic restrictions, visits were limited to FaceTime conversations. The woman’s grandparents were cremated, and their ashes were kept securely under the kitchen sink until a suitable time for a funeral could be arranged.
The Funeral That Never Was
To the woman’s shock, she discovered that her family had held a funeral for her grandparents and scattered their ashes in her uncle’s maple grove. What made matters worse was that she had visited her family just days before the funeral, yet no one had mentioned anything about the impending ceremony. Despite her family’s insistence that she was present at the funeral, the woman was certain she hadn’t attended. She even had evidence to support her claim, as her Google location history clearly showed that she was elsewhere on that day.
Gaslighting and Denial
The woman’s family, however, adamantly believed that she had been present at the funeral. They dismissed her proof, accusing her of doctoring the evidence and causing unnecessary drama. This led the woman to feel gaslit by her family, as they tried to make her doubt her own memories and experiences. She reached out to her stepmother, who was known for being meticulous with her photos, but even she claimed that no pictures were taken on the day of the funeral as it would have been considered tacky.
Reddit Speculation and Theories
The woman turned to Reddit for advice and support, and the post garnered significant attention. Redditors weighed in with their own theories, with many believing that the family had deliberately excluded her due to her refusal to move back to her hometown. Some suggested that the family wanted to make her feel left out and manipulate her into returning. Others speculated that it was a power move to punish her for seeking independence and pursuing a life away from her hometown.
Emotional Toll and Estrangement
The woman expressed her deep sense of loss and confusion amidst the ongoing family drama. The estrangement from her loved ones had left her feeling numb and disconnected. Her usual routines, such as weekly coffee chats with her father, had been disrupted, further amplifying her feelings of isolation. Despite attempts to communicate and present evidence, her family remained steadfast in their denial, refusing to acknowledge their mistake.
Thanksgiving and Social Media Vagueness
With Thanksgiving approaching, the woman noticed vague posts on Facebook from her family about forgetful kids and mental health. This only added to her confusion, as she struggled to comprehend the strange behavior and wondered if she was in some alternate reality. Even her mother’s best friend suggested that she apologize and admit she was wrong, placing the blame for her family’s stress on her shoulders. The woman’s attempts to ensure her family’s well-being, such as checking for gas leaks, were met with resistance and dismissal.
Seeking Resolution and Moving Forward
In the face of the ongoing turmoil, the woman and her husband decided to take a break from family gatherings during the holiday season. They recognized the need to prioritize their own well-being and distance themselves from the toxic dynamics. While the woman’s family remains convinced of her presence at the funeral, she continues to stand her ground, refusing to back down and accept blame for something that she knows never happened.
Here is the full story in her own words:
“I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to ‘the city’ (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother’s grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
“Ever since I moved away, the topic of ‘when am I moving back?’ is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The ‘city’ is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I’ve been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it’s not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
“Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
“Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all ‘Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?’ Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it ‘all the time’.
“Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me ‘for lying’. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me ‘on read’ until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
“Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about ‘forgetful kids’ and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they’re fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.”