Cory Booker’s 25-Hour Meltdown: A Filibuster So Pointless, It Looped Back to Comedy

Let me paint you a picture.  The Senate floor is empty. No vote is pending. No legislation is being blocked. And yet—there stands Senator Cory “Spartacus” Booker, soaking up C-SPAN air time like a man auditioning for a Netflix drama.  This wasn’t about policy. It wasn’t about protecting democracy.  This was Cory Booker’s ego screaming, “Remember me?!”

It was a 25-hour performance no one asked for, blocking nothing, accomplishing less, and reminding the nation why he faded from the 2020 spotlight so fast. If this was supposed to rally the base, it fell flat faster than Kamala at a press conference.

Not Even a Real Filibuster

Let’s get this out of the way: Booker’s “filibuster” wasn’t even technically a filibuster. There was no vote scheduled. No bill being stopped. He wasn’t delaying anything. The Senate floor was open, and he filled it with 25 hours of emotional throat-clearing.  He kept “yielding for questions” to fellow Democrat Chris Murphy so he could technically retain the floor—like a political buddy movie called Sleep-Deprived and Delusional.

Spartacus? Please. This was Sadacus.

Wide-Eyed Rants and Ghost Voter Outrage

You could see the desperation in his eyes—literally. At times, they were so wide he looked like Adam Schiff after three espressos. And the talking points? Good grief.  He wailed about “crisis,” “tax cuts for the wealthy,” and “Social Security cuts.” Let’s be clear—the only thing being cut from Social Security is benefits to the dead. But hey, that’s a major Democrat voting block, and we wouldn’t want to disenfranchise the cemetery base now, would we?

But the Tariffs! (Cue Panic)

Booker melted down over Trump’s tariffs too. Now look—I’m not thrilled about the Canadian tariffs either, for personal reasons. But as Trump said, we’ve been getting ripped off for decades, and that has to stop. Other countries—China, Mexico, Canada—they’ve been playing us like a fiddle while our leaders signed lopsided deals and grinned for cameras. Trump flipped the table. Was it messy? Sure. But at least someone was willing to put America First. Booker whining about “unfair” tariffs is rich. Fairness isn’t America getting quietly screwed—it’s America finally pushing back. Maybe if Democrats spent less time crying about trade policy and more time fighting for American workers, they wouldn’t be staring down the lowest approval ratings in modern history.

Booker’s Greatest Hits (and Misses)

Somewhere around hour 14, Booker broke out his favorite line about “genius being evenly distributed.” Great. Did someone accuse poor kids of being dumb? No? Then why are we pretending this is news? He also suggested that defunding the Department of Education was borderline authoritarian. Never mind that the DOE has presided over skyrocketing costs, plummeting results, and unions that protect mediocrity while students suffer. But sure, Cory, let’s keep that federal cash bonfire roaring.

This Is Not Leadership. This Is Theater.

Let’s stop pretending this was courageous. Booker didn’t take a stand. He took a selfie… with words. This was the Democrat Party’s favorite genre: Resistance Theater.  All monologue, no substance. All performance, no results. While Americans are worried about inflation, border chaos, crime, fentanyl, and foreign wars, Booker gave us 25 hours of empty calories, delivered with furrowed brows and moist sincerity. The only thing missing was a GoFundMe link and a sad violin.

The Polls Speak for Themselves

According to Quinnipiac, Democrats in Congress now sit at just 21% approval. Even Democrat voters disapprove of their own party’s congressional reps—49% to 40%. That’s not a red flag. That’s a neon billboard that reads, “Try talking about real issues.” So by all means, Cory. Keep talking. Because as Sun Tzu (or was it Ron DeSantis?) once said: “When your opponent is making a jackass of himself—don’t interrupt.”

Final Thoughts

Booker’s filibuster wasn’t leadership. It was a desperate man screaming into the void, hoping someone would put a mic in his face and ask, “How brave was it, Senator?” It wasn’t brave. It wasn’t effective. It wasn’t even relevant. It was 25 hours of ego-fueled bullshit. And I could go on… But I don’t want to filibuster myself.

WE’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS! PLEASE COMMENT BELOW.
JIMMY

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